{"id":2815,"date":"2025-05-30T15:49:58","date_gmt":"2025-05-30T15:49:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.xindisiau.com\/?p=2815"},"modified":"2025-06-09T10:58:44","modified_gmt":"2025-06-09T10:58:44","slug":"so-chic-very-chic-a-gloomy-day-in-may","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.xindisiau.com\/index.php\/2025\/05\/30\/so-chic-very-chic-a-gloomy-day-in-may\/","title":{"rendered":"So Chic, Very Chic: A Gloomy Day in May"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

This is So Chic, Very Chic, <\/em>PAPER\u2019s examination of Bravo\u2019s sprawling cohort of fashion obsessives. From haute couture to TJ Maxx, they\u2019ve literally worn it all. Sometimes they stunt, sometimes they turn the look, and sometimes they burn holes in retinas my ophthalmologist says might never heal.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

It\u2019s another rainy day in May. May flowers? More like mayday!<\/p>\n

I\u2019m in Canada, for reasons that do not soothe people when they rush to ask: Why are you in Canada? It\u2019s really not the point, but it does bear mentioning, seeing as I read a statistic somewhere that it\u2019s the coldest May in Toronto in decades. If this is not true, I don\u2019t care, and if it is, I have no prior knowledge to ground that fact meteorologically. But it does feel like the coldest May in decades, and that\u2019s what really counts. Feelings are facts, and most of all mine are actually so factually true that you can read about them on the internet. It helps, because everything on the internet is a fact. <\/p>\n

Instead of wasting away at the beach, or wasting away on a patio or in the park, I\u2019ve been huddled by the window, praying for the sky to close and God to let me out of prison. I play another Sheryl Crow song, because it\u2019s all I can do, and then another Erika de Casier album, seeing as she\u2019s the only woman in the world who maybe understands how I feel right now. I pace, and I write, and I play video games, and I have sex with my boyfriend. I cry sometimes and take short walks that leave my jackets soaked through. I look at the skirts and short dresses in our closet and start again, and then I pick up one of his cats and start back with the Sheryl Crow songs.<\/p>\n

The Real Housewives of Miami<\/em> premieres soon, which will certainly fix everything. Pride is lurking in its shadow, as are the drugs and parties and beach days and island getaways. But can I survive May to see any of it? Unclear, but I have a job to do in the meantime. Shall we?<\/p>\n

The Real Housewives of Atlanta<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The Real Housewives of Atlanta<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

Phaedra Parks<\/strong><\/p>\n

The big story this week is that Phaedra Parks has, at long last, clawed her way back onto The Real Housewives of Atlanta<\/em>. It only took her a few presidential elections and about 10 different TV shows in the NBC Universal family to get here! Let\u2019s take a moment of silence for all the people she clawed up and over in her desperate quest for redemption, poked full of holes by her stiletto nails and stiletto heels. I hear she\u2019s not paying the medical bills, just like she\u2019ll never pay the karmic debt of that sex trafficking rumor she tried to run past Kandi Burress all those years ago! <\/p>\n

That said, I find it downright hilarious that she\u2019s juxtaposed so obviously against herself in her first big scene. The title card flashes with her in some RuPaul\u2019s Drag Race<\/em> second runner-up design challenge costume. And haven\u2019t we seen this hair on Married to Medicine<\/em> already, or am I making things up? I tend to do that, least of all when the topic is one of my many spiritual nemeses. After the tackiness of the title card has been allowed to firmly latch onto my retinas, we cut to her opening the door for Porsha in a matching Gucci lounge set with a bedazzled corset. I hope she never changes, or I won\u2019t have anything to talk about!<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

This confessional feels so dated already, seeing the wet effect a few cycles back. Still, it\u2019s undeniable that she looks good, and if not good, then expensive. And if not expensive? Well, at least she looks like a Real Housewife, which is her job again, somehow.<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

What\u2019s on the opposite end of good, or expensive, or like a Real Housewife? I\u2019m so glad you asked, because I asked Phaedra to slip into this little number. It seems her time on Married to Medicine<\/em><\/em> hasn\u2019t quite cycled through the system, seeing as she\u2019s still wrapped herself up in illusion lace and cooking foil. If her first look was second runner up in the design challenge, she\u2019s lip syncing for her life in this, seeing as the judges hate bodysuits and relying on body. Show us some versatility, Phaedra!<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

Shamea Morton<\/strong><\/p>\n

When asked about my day job by random strangers, I would kindly explain that I meticulously catalogue which matching brand sets The Real Housewives of Atlanta<\/em> wore this week to the pool. I usually get laughed out of most establishments when I\u2019m honest, so I\u2019ve changed my story somewhat. Instead, I\u2019m writing a long form investigative expos\u00e9 about the erosion of taste and collapse of meaning around obvious wealth signifiers as evidenced on various The Real Housewives<\/em> franchises. In layman\u2019s terms: Shamea once again bought an entire outfit of Christina Dior loungewear, and now we have to look at it. <\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Thankfully, she mixed things up for the group scene. Instead of head to toe Christian Dior or Gucci logos, she rocked Chanel earrings with a Balenciaga print blazer. Do we think she owns anything that doesn\u2019t obviously telegraph brand loyalty?<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Kelli Ferrell, Shamea Morton and Brit Eady<\/strong><\/p>\n

What a fun bunch of television stars these three are shaping up to be. They got dressed up in whatever these outfits are for a party that didn\u2019t make a single lick of sense. Still, sense doesn\u2019t seem to be what they\u2019re going for. Instead, it showed the hands of Brit and the new producers, seeing as it was an exact recreation of a similar scene starring Phaedra Parks from back in the day, hats and all!<\/p>\n

If I were to choose a favorite outfit here, it\u2019d obviously be Kelli and her dead ostriches. Because of the proportions at play, she looks like a wizened old wizard in a Freevee original fantasy movie attempting to broker peace amongst the warring elven clans. I joke, because Freevee doesn\u2019t have the budget for that kind of scale, but they do have the budget for this exact outfit. I think we\u2019re off to a good start!<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Brit also came rocking ostrich feathers of her own, although the trim here confounds me. It\u2019s neither attached to a hemline or it\u2019s own separate piece of clothing. The effect, then, reads again like a RuPaul\u2019s Drag Race<\/em> design challenge. This is a low safe, which incenses the queen who put it together, seeing as she designed most of her own package and even made a hat. She\u2019s mid-argument with the other low-safe girls about how she hasn\u2019t gotten a real critique from the judges yet.<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Elsewhere, I found this look quite matronly! In comparison to most of what she wears on this show, maybe it\u2019s the near-total absence of accessories that throws me off, or the mother-of-the-bride neckline. Knowing her, it\u2019s probably a bodysuit with sheer tights and not a real dress, which doesn\u2019t change much, except I\u2019m in the back row at the wedding asking: \u201cIs that her mother?\u201d<\/p>\n

The Valley<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Zack Wickham<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Valley<\/em> continues to be a void of real styling choices. In the absence of glamor and intrigue, we have Zack\u2019s printed board shorts featuring press photos of Brittany. I\u2019d wear them, at least for a costume party!<\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Scheananigins and Give Them Lala<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Wicked Witches of Studio City made their grand debut this episode, having been teased for most of the season by production and snoopy gossips alike. Scheananigans said a total of three words while wearing this bubble top and dark lip combo, suspiciously absent of any fake lashes. (Probably because it\u2019s a pool party?) Give Them Lala, meanwhile, is tremendously pregnant in her bikini top and shield glasses. The nails are shorter than I remember them, which feels destabilizing, a sensation only counteracted by her signature lowlights. Really, I\u2019m doing anything I can to ground myself in the knowledge that this is not Vanderpump Rules<\/em>, and these are not main characters on this TV show. <\/p>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/p>\n

Photos courtesy of Bravo\/NBCUniversal<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/br><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is So Chic, Very Chic, PAPER\u2019s examination of Bravo\u2019s sprawling cohort of fashion obsessives. From haute couture to TJ Maxx, they\u2019ve literally worn it all. Sometimes they stunt, sometimes they turn the look, and sometimes they burn holes in retinas my ophthalmologist says might never heal. It\u2019s another rainy day in May. May flowers? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2817,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.xindisiau.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2815"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.xindisiau.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.xindisiau.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.xindisiau.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.xindisiau.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2815"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.xindisiau.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2815\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2832,"href":"http:\/\/www.xindisiau.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2815\/revisions\/2832"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.xindisiau.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2817"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.xindisiau.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2815"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.xindisiau.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2815"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.xindisiau.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2815"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}